Spring Funk

 Lately, I have been very testy with my children.  Somehow I cannot manage to get out of a spring funk :(  and everything they do (or don't do) is annoying me.  

Ironically, I woke up at 4:30am this morning and couldn't get back to sleep and in those wee hours of the morning, I realized that it's ME that is the problem not them.  It's important for me to remember my supplements and my homeopathy for anxiety and I've not been doing that.  BUT it's more important for me to be constantly putting my feelings of anger onto the shoulders of Jesus.    And I haven't been doing that either.  

As a parent, I have been convicted to NOT discipline if it causes me to sin.  What do I mean by that?  What I mean is that if I can't correct my child  without sinning myself, I ignore their behavior.  BUT that doesn't always happen.  There are times lately, I have been ranting and raving about their behavior, not realizing that how I am acting is WAY worse than what they did.    And I HATE the whole "you made me feel angry" or worse "if you hadn't done X, I wouldn't have to be yelling at you".  I am constantly reminding my children that no one Makes you feel or behave a certain way.  Emotions are feelings and they happen but we CHOOSE how we react to them.    We don't have to get angry.  And if I were really resting in the spirit, I would respond to all of their actions in kindness or gentleness.  I don't see anywhere in Galations that anger is a fruit of the spirit.  So, my conviction:  If I can't be loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle or self controlled, don't do it.  Of course, not being perfect, I struggle mightily with this.  

Galations 5:22-23  "But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.  Against such things there is NO LAW.  (emphasis mine ;P )  What is love?  I don't buy the tough love thing.  I go to the Bible and 1 Corinthians 13.  

Truly, though, I am heartbroken to think that my sin has hurt them.  Yet I am reminded, life is what you make of it.  (and yes, I made a link to Hannah Montana for my sweet RainbowGirl who loves her music).  How does this apply to life being what you make of it-- I am going to take the opportunity to show my children what true repentance and restitution means.   What a great lesson for them to learn that when someone is repentant for their actions, they often find a way to make restitution.  This concept has been mostly lost in modern life but we practice it at home a lot.  My kids probably have no clue what restitution is but they know it as "when you are ready to make it right".  

I am also going to start discussing more in detail the fruits of the spirit and what they look like after Easter.  I want to finish up the life of Jesus readings we have been doing before moving into that.