I had SUCH good intentions when I started this. I love to write but yet it's been a year.
Why? So many reasons.
The first is that we have gone through a lot healthwise and I have spent SO many hours in the kitchen trying to help us heal (cooking up a storm). I have spent hours researching, I have spent hours crying out to God for help. This summer, we finally found the GAPs diet which has put us on the road to recovery but also means I spend more time in the kitchen than I care to admit . . . like sometimes the entire weekend catching up from a busy week.
The second is that we have been passionately working to get CYT (Christian Youth Theater) to Milwaukee. It's a time consuming passion for us. I also teach for CYT and that is just FUN! Check out my blog for CYT Milwaukee.
The third reason is that sometimes I just don't even know how to begin with recording my life. Trials and hardships have arose and I never know how much to share. Some seems to private to share and I haven't felt that gentle nudge to disclose online like I have in the past.
A fourth reason is that my time at home has been more limited. I am finding myself out in the world a lot more and while I enjoy the opportunity to see face to face, it is draining to me. So much people time is draining for me as I know that my people skills need work so I am constantly on edge. My "down time" is usually spent in a book or tap dancing so I just don't get here as much as I'd like.
I mention all of this because of the second and fourth reason. WOW, I am really struggling during this time in my life. When my children were really young, I spent most of my time at home and began to feel I "had to get out". Then I'd get out and that was just exhausting with three young children. During almost three years of that phase of my life, SurvivorBoy was on chemo so it was particularly draining to take them out with one very ill.
Now I am always out and about and find myself wishing for more time at home. It made me realize that contentedness on earth can be elusive if we aren't careful. It made me realize that finding peace on earth can be difficult.
On one hand, that is good. We should never become to comfortable here. This is NOT our home. We should long for more but that more is not a bigger house, bigger car, more activities. NO. Our longing should be for Heaven and our longing should be to find ways to serve him on earth, investing in our future home!
On the other hand, I love the saying
"Yesterday is the past, tomorrow is the future, today is a gift--that is why it's called the present!"
It's with that attitude that I have been attempting to approach my life. I want to enjoy the moment, remembering my mistakes of the past and keeping an eye out for the future. Enjoying the present shouldn't mean serving our flesh, it means finding joy in the little things, smelling the roses, and being thankful for the things we've been given. God knows any one of us could end our life on earth at any time. I hope and pray daily that I am living my life in a way that is God honoring.